VIDEO: Kellie Pickler Breaks Down at CMA Awards

By Tim Nudd

Kellie Pickler broke down crying during the CMA Awards on Wednesday night while performing "I Wonder," a song about her estranged mother, who abandoned her when she was 2.

"Oh, I hear the weather's nice in California," the former American Idol finalist sang at the end of the song, as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. "And just in case you're wondering about me/ From now on I won't be in Carolina/ Your little girl is off to Tennessee."

Pickler's mother, Cynthia Malone, has said that she was forced to leave her child because of an abusive relationship with her then-husband. "I knew God had to have a purpose for [Kellie] because there was too many times I would have miscarried because of all the hitting and beating on my stomach," Malone told the Charlotte Observer in July.

Pickler, 21, struggled to finish the song and spoke the final word, "Tennessee," as the Nashville crowd rose in applause to support her.

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UNDERWOOD, PAISLEY & STRAIT DOUBLE UP AT CMAs

The highlight of the event came when former American Idol star Kellie Pickler broke down in tears during her touching performance of ballad A Small Town Girl Made Good, which she co-wrote about her relationship with her estranged father.

"This is the closest you're ever going to get to me because I'm done. I'm done!" To understand that Kellier Pickler you would have to know another Kellie Pickler. She went from small town Carolina girl to big time country star almost overnight. She did it despite a painful past.

Kellie had mixed emotions before her recent State Fair performance in Raleigh. She knows Raleigh is where her mother lives. The mother who left her when she was a baby and the same mother she sings about in her hit song, I Wonder. Words of the song question, "If you ever came back home to Carolina I wonder what would you say to me?"

Kellie says the song is therapeutic. "This song has not only helped me, writing it, performing it every night has been kind of like therapy for me but I think it's really helped a lot of people who might be going through similar circumstances," she said.

Kellie's mother, Cynthia Malone says she does think about her daughter. "I did what was in the best interest for her, Miss Kellie," said Malone who used to be Cynthia Pickler. Now she volunteers for InterAct, the Wake County agency for domestic violence victims.

Malone says by sharing her story of abuse and the difficult decision as a teenager to abandon Kellie, she hopes to help others avoid what happened to her.

"The beatings came more frequent," Cynthia said, "I knew I was going to lose my life if I didn't leave. And I didn't know how to leave. So I packed up one day and I left."

Cynthia says she left Kellie with her grandparents, "Nobody knew that I was leaving. Nobody knew what I was going to do."

Cynthia says she didn't know how that decision would affect her and Kellie -- who she hasn't seen since she was 11 years old.

Now 21, Kellie uses her celebrity to raise money and awareness for an organization that helps grandparents raising grandchildren. When we asked about her mother's cause of choice, we opened up deep wounds.

"She's supposed to be speaking on domestic violence. Okay. A lot of it are complete lies," Kellie said. "I'm not mad. I'm not upset. I'm just hurt because she continues to make herself look like the victim and she just tells.. you tell everyone," Kellie begins to cry as she tries to answer the question.

As she composes herself Kellie says, "I just wish that, I don't know why you want anything to do with me now when you never wanted anything to do with me in my whole life ever."

But is that true? Eyewitness News went to Albemarle where the Picklers lived and found records that Cynthia did fight for custody. We also found divorce documents where Cynthia claimed Clyde Pickler was an alcoholic and also abused drugs. The documents also state he beat Cynthia throughout their marriage. All claims Clyde Pickler has denied, but he's been in and out of jail since the 80's for DWI and breaking into cars.

Clyde Pickler is currently behind bars for breaking into a car. His only assault conviction related to Cynthia was in 1985 for pointing a gun at one of Cynthia's relatives  never for an attack against her.

Kellie did not respond to the information Eyewitness News found and she questions her mother's story of abuse. "There's so much that's just not out there and I'm sick of people looking at me and thinking that, 'oh, her poor mom. She should give her another chance.' If my dad or anyone was abusive to her, you're going to leave your kid there to be in the abuse as well? It doesn't make sense there's so many puzzles to this story that have not been put in there," she said. Meanwhile, Cynthia sticks to her story.

We interviewed Cynthia in Victims' Memorial Gardens  a place she feels her name could have ended up. We asked her why she didn't take Kellie with her. "I tried one time and he ran my car off the road," Cynthia said. "I ran just as hard as I could in my car to the police department. Now mind you I still had a bruised face. The police officer seen him snatch Kellie away from me and she became 50/50 property so in order to get her back I had to go back."

Cynthia offers some advice for Kellie and for everyone else. "What I would say to anyone that is going through that or who has been through that, there is life out there. Get help," she said.

Cynthia also ask for forgiveness, "If I could go back into time with the tools that I have today, yes, I would have done things a heck of a lot different. But I can't. I'm human. I make mistakes."

Mistakes that Kellie is far from ready to forgive. "If she wants to give me any peace at all then she will stay away from me and not hurt me anymore than what she has. Just leave me alone," Kellie told Shae Crisson.

To make sure she was left alone, Raleigh Police officers working Kellie's concert kept a picture of her mother in their pockets and kept an eye out for her in the stands in case she showed up and tried to contact Kellie.

Kellie Pickler's mother had tickets to her daughter's concert at Dorton Arena but once Eyewitness News told her that her daughter didn't want to see her, didn't want to talk to her, she changed her mind about attending the concert. Cynthia says she doesn't want to hurt Kellie again. She says she will leave Kellie alone and leave her to live her new life, but like Kellie, she too will wonder what could have been.

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RASCAL FLATTS will open “Country Music’s Biggest Night” with “Still Feels Good.” But later in the broadcast, R&B singer and Oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx will perform “She Goes All the Way” with the group.

Odd pairings have become normal in country music — a trend that began with the Nelly and Tim McGraw collaboration “Over and Over Again.”

Also paired at the awards as presenters are the pop singer Jewel and her rodeo champ husband, Ty Murray. And don’t forget the Eagles’ performance. Has the band with a “Peaceful Easy Feeling” come full circle? Country, at this point in their career, must have the fastest lane.

BRAD PAISLEY and George Strait tied for the lead with five nominations. Since they’re competing in several of the same categories, such as Entertainer and Male Vocalist of the Year, someone might leave with a bruised ego.

LAST YEAR, when Carrie Underwood was announced as the Female Vocalist of the Year, Faith Hill’s facial expression — WHAT?! — conveyed her thoughts. If publicists hadn’t already warned their stars that they always are on camera, they will now.

THE HORIZON AWARD — for country’s newcomer of the year — always is a wide contest. The nominees are Jason Aldean, Rodney Atkins, Little Big Town, Kellie Pickler and Taylor Swift (who will perform with Brad Paisley Nov. 10 at the North Charleston Coliseum). No, “American Idol” fans, you can’t vote for Pickler.

DIERKS BENTLEY’S “Long Trip Alone” is nominated for Album of the Year. But he faces stiff competition from Brad Paisley’s “5th Gear,” George Strait’s “It Just Comes Natural,” Keith Urban’s “Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing” and Vince Gill’s “These Days.”

If Bentley wins, how many more of you will go see him perform Nov. 23 at the Colonial Center?

FOR THE SECOND YEAR in a row, the biggest cheer will go to Keith Urban. He missed the 2006 show because he was in rehab; he’ll perform this time. Let’s hope he goes the path that hasn’t been trod by Lindsay, Britney and Amy.

WHAT’S THE LINE on whether George Strait actually strums the guitar he always holds onstage? It’s like his blankie.

JASON MICHAEL CARROLL used to be Five Points’ version of New York’s Naked Cowboy. Carroll, the long-haired singer who is one of the presenters, performed at Locals, St. Pat’s in Five Points and Five After Five. His “Livin’ Our Love Song” recently reached the top 10.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD is up for an award, and so is Kellie Pickler. Bucky Covington is a presenter. Is there any doubt what genre of work the next batch of “Idol” singers should consider?

PORTER WAGONER, best known for his partnership with Dolly Parton, was a rhinestone cowboy who shot for the heart. Wagoner died Oct. 28, and the show should at least include a mention of his name.

KID ROCK scuffled with Tommy Lee at the MTV Music Awards. He was arrested last month at a Waffle House in Georgia after an altercation. So who at the CMAs could he brawl with? Kid Rock probably is wondering, as we are: Are there any bad boys left in country music?

THE FAVORITE FOR LONGEST PERFORMANCE has to be Brooks & Dunn since they’re not hosting this year.

COUNTRY SINGERS aren’t known for provocative award-wear like pop stars. But there might be dazzling flashes of style on the red carpet. Will Miranda Lambert wear a dress? Will Carrie Underwood show some leg? What kind of highlights will Keith Urban have in his hair? And will Dwight Yoakam put on a suit?

Compiled by Otis R. Taylor Jr.

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Happy Halloween guys! Have fun trick or treating and at your parties. Also today is the 1 year anniversary of Small Town Girl. It came out exactly 1 year ago. Go celebrate by buying another copy

“The 41st Annual CMA Awards” will be held Wednesday, Nov. 7 (8:00-11:00 PM/ET) and will air live from the Sommet Center in Nashville on the ABC Television Network.

Sheryl Crow, Blake Shelton and Gretchen Wilson have been added to the list of artists presenting CMA Awards.

Krauss received four nominations in 2007 including Female Vocalist of the Year, Vocal Group of the Year for Alison Krauss and Union Station Featuring Jerry Douglas, and two for Musical Event of the Year with John Waite (his first CMA Awards nomination) on “Missing You” and with Vince Gill on “The Reason Why.” Krauss last won the Female Vocalist of the Year category in 1995. She has been nominated in the category five times including each year from 2002-2005.

Aldean and Pickler are first-time CMA Awards nominees in 2007. Both were nominated for the coveted Horizon Award. Included in the category are Rodney Atkins, Taylor Swift and Little Big Town. Aldean’s self-titled debut album was certified Platinum, and his sophomore release Relentless debuted at No. 1 on the Country sales chart in June. Pickler, an “American Idol” sweetheart, released her debut album, Small Town Girl, in October and by January, the project was certified Gold.

Performers previously announced for the 2007 CMA Awards include Atkins, Big & Rich, Brooks & Dunn, Kenny Chesney, Eagles, Miranda Lambert, Martina McBride, Reba McEntire in a duet with LeAnn Rimes, Brad Paisley, George Strait, Sugarland, Swift, Josh Turner, Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban. Rascal Flatts will open the festivities and also perform with Jamie Foxx later in the broadcast.

Sara Evans and Rimes will host segments of the three-hour broadcast. Other segment hosts will be announced soon. Presenters recently announced include Luke Bryan, Jason Michael Carroll, Bucky Covington, Jewel with Ty Murray, Kid Rock, Montgomery Gentry, and Dwight Yoakam.

Tonight (10/18), Kellie heads to Birmingham for the first show of a three-city weekend tour with Rascal Flatts. On Friday, they’ll play Philips Arena in Atlanta, where Kellie will be interviewed by CNN’s Robin Mead. On Saturday night (10/20) they’ll be in Greenville, SC. And on Sunday (10/21), Kellie will sing the National Anthem in Dallas as the Cowboys take on the Minnesota Vikings. (the game starts at 4:30 on FOX)

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